Emotional Intelligence: Negotiation Skills

Life & Leadership Course

Negotiation skills pave the way to agreement reached without arguments. There are certain tips & steps a healthy negotiation process needs to take.

Experts encourage us to have a positive attitude, be knowledgeable about both perspectives, & utilize interpersonal skills during this process. A suggestion is to begin with a rapport building topic such as sports or the weather. Continue slowly remembering listening is a key aspect of communicating. When we are not moving someone to action with words, we should be listening.

How does a positive attitude in negotiations help the process? The brain works 31% better in a positive frame of mind. Due to mirror neurons, I smile, then you smile back involuntarily and you are in a better mood.

More about the science:

Mirror Neurons

Scientists have identified a group of cells in the brain that could explain how we share another’s pleasure or pain in the Anterior Cingulate Cortex. This area of the brain is active when we experience pain and when we observe when others experience pain. With higher empathy, the ACC region is more active!

With any situation, it’s effective to have a step by step guide to follow. The process of negotiation includes the following stages:

• Preparation

• When, Where, & with Whom to meet

• Limit the time of the meeting

• Gather the facts

• Know the rules of your organization

  • Discussion-Each party presents their case • Question

  • Listen

  • Clarify
  • Clarification of goals-without clarification, barriers will occur

  • Goals
  • Interests
  • Viewpoints

  • Negotiate towards a Win-Win outcome as the ultimate goal

• Alternative Strategies

• Compromises

• Agreement

• Open Mind

• Acceptable Solution

  • Implementation of a course of action

• Course of action

If both parties cannot come to an agreement, instead of arguing, schedule a follow up meeting repeating the above steps. Perhaps bring someone else with you next time to gain a different perspective.

The next time you are in a process of negotiation, remember Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator. His process in multiple situations involved finding a frame of reference to connect with and disarm the subject by saying being agreeable where it made sense to say yes. This enabled the subject to respond with a yes. Mirror neurons explain the how we can get such an outcome through the practice of staying positive!