Consider the following when approaching an individual:
A person who behaves in a nonexclusive or even discriminatory way does not have to have negative intent. When we approach people who view themselves as good individuals trying to do the right thing as if they “should have known better,” we are likely to be met with resistance. If we approach them with an assumption of innocence in intent, but with an emphasis on the impact of their behavior, we are more likely to reach them effectively and garner their willing attention.
• The communication approaches are most effective when used in combination with one another, e.g., using impact and preference statements, using inquiry and paraphrasing together, etc.
• Separate the person from the action or behavior. Instead of saying “you’re racist”, try saying “that could be perceived as a racist remark.” Being called a racist puts someone on the defensive and can be considered “fighting words.”
• Avoid starting questions with “Why”—it puts peop…
